Happy Heavenly First Birthday Timothy!

It's hard to imagine that a year has gone by since we said goodbye to you little one.  The world called you imperfect - but not only did beauty radiate from your sweet little face - you brought out so much beauty in others.  Your little life showed us a side of many people that we may have never seen - the piece of their hearts that perfectly reflected Jesus's love - because of you, we were able to see just how beautiful our family, friends, and even strangers are.    For that moment in time, we were able to see just what God sees when He looks at all of us - his beautiful little angels that He loves and cares for.   Because of you, we have friends that will hold us a lifetime - bonds that will never be broken - love that will never grow cold. 

Today all day long I began feeling your little brother or sister kicks for the first time, a gentle reminder that there are even more blessings in store for us. Although I cannot hold you, although you will never blow our your first candles here on earth, although I never will see you take your first little steps - I have perfect peace in my heart that you are exactly where you should be.  Someday we will all meet you and Pop Pop by the River...We love you and are so proud of you!
 
Thank you to all who have kept us falling this past year - we love you all dearly.  Timothy's story continues to be an inspiration and has spread to over 58 countries...God is busy at work!

Merry 1st Christmas Tiny Tim

I always wonder how the angels celebrate Christmas in heaven. God thought you special enough to taste this celebration before all of us get to little Timothy. We had a beautiful day today with your ever growing family - but I can't help but say this holiday now more then ever I felt a piece of me missing. That piece of me will always be with you in heaven Timothy, until we are together again. We miss you - keep that party going until we get there. :)
Love you always - Mommy

Nine Months and Counting

Just wanted to post a quick thought today - I miss little Timothy a lot lately - it's been nine months but that is still less than the time he spent with me every day!! 

Thank you to my true friends and family for upholding me, supporting me, and remembering his precious little life that changed our lives in a big way!!

Life's Just Not What it Used to Be...

The world has bustled on around me...sometimes I wonder if anyone remembers that Timothy was here...I wonder how the world could move on without him - a piece of me wishes I could go back to those first few weeks he was gone - as difficult as it was, he seemed to be on everyone's mind, rather than just my own.  I look back at that time now and realize what an emotional high I was on...now eight months later, my mind suddenly seems foggy.  My concentration is lacking...multi-tasking has seemed to go out the window for me, the master once of doing it all.  I'm realizing now that I'm just not all there anymore.  I don't know if I ever will be.  And you know what....I'm okay with that.  I'm sure it's not exactly convenient for those around me...but I'm learning to live life again...with the new me....I would take the moments I had with Timothy over the old me any day.

I write this for the other mommies out there....I have a feeling I am not alone.
xo

A Short Six Months...A Long Six Months

Happy Six Month Heavenly Birthday to our Tiny Tim.  Today Timothy's Daddy made a big map of the world with his little footprints all over, showing everywhere his precious feet have been.  We will hang it in his big sister's playroom - she will grow up asking and knowing all about her little brother with wings. 

When Evie was six months to the day she sat on her own for the first time - I have a feeling little Timothy would have done so even earlier just to keep up with his big sister! 

It's hard to believe we have been without you for six months already - yet every day not seeing you grow feels like an eternity.  I never thought that I would be on "this side" of this trial, in less than two weeks it will be one year when we were told we wouldn't get to keep you.  When you're first climbing that mountain it seems like you will never reach the top.  But as I have been told before - you see beautiful things on that mountain top.  Thank you God for showing us the view - and for giving us the opportunity to love this little boy of ours.

You Raise Me Up

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

--Brendan Graham, You Raise Me Up

Happy Five Month Heavenly Birthday Tiny Tim

This week I read a book about a six year little boy, Alex, who visited Jesus in heaven after a car accident, and came back as a witness to heaven (The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven).  It reminded me just how real heaven is and gave me peace to know little Timothy is there with Jesus, busy about God's work until we join him. 

Happy Heavenly 4 Month Birthday

Your big sister just loves babies! I know she would have adored you - but you had other work to do.  Your story continues to inspire people around the world!

Blessed to be His Mom

I truly believe God gives us children so we can experience the love He feels for us. Remembering little Timothy on Mother's Day and how much joy he brought to me and continues to bring - as I was so fortunate to be his mom, even for just a moment in time.

Thinking of Timothy

I miss my little Timothy more than ever these days - my little acrobat.  I suppose at some point you just run out of strength - these are the times you have no choice but to fall on God.

Happy 3-Month Heavenly Birthday Timothy.  We love you.

John 15:16

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit -- fruit that will last. 

Remembering You...

My only regret is that I didn't celebrate you more while you were here with me. 
Looking back now I laugh at the times we spent together...yes your mommy was carrying too many Christmas presents when we were shopping together in Philadelphia...

Look at all the places you've been in just two short months with those angel wings of yours!

1 Chronicles 16: 23 - 24 Sing to the Lord, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day.  Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

A Message for Timothy

Dear Baby Timothy -

Do you know that you changed your mommy's life forever?  I will never ever be the same again - and so much for the better.  What would I have been without knowing you?

Love, Mommy

The Miracles Continue...

Today I spoke with the Organ Donation Organization and received some very encouraging news!  Timothy's liver cells were successfully cryogenically frozen and are awaiting donation to babies diagnosed with Urea Cycle Disorder.  This disorder can be fatal or lead to significant brain damage for babies.  Unfortunately it's a long process so we may not know who or when this will happen for another six months or so - but it is still very exciting!!  One of the coolest things is that this is a completely new process in the US - they had been doing this in Germany and just gained approval to perform this procedure over the last few months here in the states.  Timothy is one of the first ones to donate in this way!!  This is the first time the donation organization and the hospital have done this type of donation, which is helping to pave the way for other parents to do the same, especially parents of anencephalic babies...there he goes again, changing everyone's lives!  Good work Baby Timothy :)
More to come...

'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40

A Celebration in Heaven

Happy 1-Month Birthday Baby Timothy.  We miss you!